Lately, I have been spending a great deal of time thinking about what exactly I want to take out of life. Everyone has material things they want for, but I've been thinking more about what I need. I want a nice house, a well paying job, and nice things for my family, but these are not things that will define true happiness for me. They just make this life we live more luxurious. I'm thinking more of the people, the achievements, the life lessons, and the path I take. I look around at my life and know whatever it is I'm looking for, I'm on the right track. In the past, I have been my own worst enemy. I have made life-changing decisions with little to no thought about the consequences of the actions. Sure we live and learn, right? However, as I made those decisions, something in my gut told me I was crazy and to turn around running in the opposite direction. Did I listen? Of course not! Do you know me?! I am stubborn, independent, and if I'm told I can't do something, I will do everything in my power to prove the person who told me so wrong. My past is my past and I have learned from those decisions, but I am quite proud of where I have came out and the decisions I have made in the last two years of my life. I made the hardest decision I ever had to make two years ago, and it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. I was at peace with my decision and finally learning what it felt like to love myself, flaws and all, and trust myself with doing what is best for my daughter, as well as myself. It turned out to have a great deal of consequences, but I've come out stronger and on top. I met the man of my dreams during that period. No he was not perfect and no he did not ride in on a white horse. That wasn't what I was looking for. When you seek perfection, you often come out vastly disappointed and looking for something else. I found the person who loved me with everything he could and did everything he could to make me happy. Like any other relationship, there were bumps along the way, but what I am proud of his how we overcame those bumps and the relationship we have today. I still look at him every day and can't help but smile. I also can't understand how I could possibly love him more tomorrow, but I often find that I do.
And our children...the one thing we can both say we did right. At times, they seem to be more than we can handle, but they truly are amazing kids. Caitlin is witty and one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. Brock is just like his daddy inside and out. Peyton is trying and stubborn, but she has such a big heart and when she's sweet, almost makes me forget she was just tearing up the house! All of them make us laugh and I have no doubt we will always be proud of them. Their smiles and personalities are the best you can get. They're all funny and very happy children. So, as I've been thinking, I've realized that is all I need. I have everything I need right with me. A man that makes me smile and laugh all the time and children that are going to grow into amazing adults (hopefully not too soon!). I want to live my life happy and surrounded by those that I care about most. It just so happens that those that I care about most make me happier than I've ever been. And the path I want to take along the way...I want to help other people get over the disappointments of their past and find what makes them happy in life. Not everyone's happiness is defined the same way, but everyone deserves to be happy. Albert Camus said, "But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?"
Lately, I have been spending a great deal of time thinking about what exactly I want to take out of life. Everyone has material things they want for, but I've been thinking more about what I need. I want a nice house, a well paying job, and nice things for my family, but these are not things that will define true happiness for me. They just make this life we live more luxurious. I'm thinking more of the people, the achievements, the life lessons, and the path I take. I look around at my life and know whatever it is I'm looking for, I'm on the right track. In the past, I have been my own worst enemy. I have made life-changing decisions with little to no thought about the consequences of the actions. Sure we live and learn, right? However, as I made those decisions, something in my gut told me I was crazy and to turn around running in the opposite direction. Did I listen? Of course not! Do you know me?! I am stubborn, independent, and if I'm told I can't do something, I will do everything in my power to prove the person who told me so wrong. My past is my past and I have learned from those decisions, but I am quite proud of where I have came out and the decisions I have made in the last two years of my life. I made the hardest decision I ever had to make two years ago, and it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. I was at peace with my decision and finally learning what it felt like to love myself, flaws and all, and trust myself with doing what is best for my daughter, as well as myself. It turned out to have a great deal of consequences, but I've come out stronger and on top. I met the man of my dreams during that period. No he was not perfect and no he did not ride in on a white horse. That wasn't what I was looking for. When you seek perfection, you often come out vastly disappointed and looking for something else. I found the person who loved me with everything he could and did everything he could to make me happy. Like any other relationship, there were bumps along the way, but what I am proud of his how we overcame those bumps and the relationship we have today. I still look at him every day and can't help but smile. I also can't understand how I could possibly love him more tomorrow, but I often find that I do.
And our children...the one thing we can both say we did right. At times, they seem to be more than we can handle, but they truly are amazing kids. Caitlin is witty and one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. Brock is just like his daddy inside and out. Peyton is trying and stubborn, but she has such a big heart and when she's sweet, almost makes me forget she was just tearing up the house! All of them make us laugh and I have no doubt we will always be proud of them. Their smiles and personalities are the best you can get. They're all funny and very happy children. So, as I've been thinking, I've realized that is all I need. I have everything I need right with me. A man that makes me smile and laugh all the time and children that are going to grow into amazing adults (hopefully not too soon!). I want to live my life happy and surrounded by those that I care about most. It just so happens that those that I care about most make me happier than I've ever been. And the path I want to take along the way...I want to help other people get over the disappointments of their past and find what makes them happy in life. Not everyone's happiness is defined the same way, but everyone deserves to be happy. Albert Camus said, "But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" 
